February 22, 2005

"American Idol": the hazards of splitting up the "guys" and the "girls."

The restructuring of "American Idol," separating the male and female contestants for the middle phase, is making me hyper-aware of my preference for male singers! Tonight, I could barely put up with hearing out the female singers. I was groaning in pain at having to listen to at least nine of the twelve. I hated watching them, with their awkwardly glammed up looks and their appalling dance moves. Must everyone plant their feet a yard apart and then bounce up and down? Must they all belt out meaningless, melody-deprived lyrics until my ears bleed? I never, ever, want to hear anyone sing whatever that crap song is with the line "How am I supposed to live without you?" (Translation: I am, literally, a parasite.) Last night, I listened to the guys, and I enjoyed nearly all of them. Especially Bo and Mario. I'm not saying men are better than women, but I think someone or something gets to the kind of woman who want to be on a show like this, and drains the very humanity out of them. And the clothes! Must everyone wear tight jeans topped with a floppy, floaty baby-doll dress? The men all seemed like real people. Some were boring, but they haven't been bent out of shape by some strange show biz force, some pitiful hunger to be loved.

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