March 10, 2018

Obituary for a porcupine.

How do you get famous enough as a porcupine to warrant an obituary?

"Prehensile-tailed porcupine, father of four, dies at National Zoo" (WaPo):
An animal who died this week at Washington’s National Zoo seemed noteworthy for many reasons, including his place in porcupine propagation.... [With a female prehensile-tailed porcupine, he] produced four youngsters.
"Many reasons"? But no other accomplishment is mentioned! There's some snide talk about how it must be difficult for quilled animals to have sexual intercourse, so I'm left thinking this is here just to do some weird sex talk (giving off a faintly rape-y whiff):
With their covering of sharp quills, porcupines prompt curiosity about their means of mating. In response to “How do porcupines breed?” wags and wits sometimes reply: “Very carefully.”

It does seem an intricate process, in which specialists say quills of the female are made to temporarily lie flat.
made to temporarily lie flat...

And now Clark — that's his name — has been made to lie permanently flat.

27 comments:

traditionalguy said...

Maybe this reward is for maintaining an erection in very risky situations. Brings to mind Playboy Trump taking the high risks for sex rewards. But now Trump's ladies are not keeping their quills flat for what he once offered. They want another chance at sticking him back.

Hagar said...

and perhaps to garner some gold.

Char Char Binks, Esq. said...

Serves Clark right, after making those lady porcupine quills lie flat for his pleasure.

Bob Boyd said...

Clark was the Harvey Weinstein of porcupines.
Unless you wanted to spend your life doing community zoo for the hicks in the sticks, you had to drop your quills for Clark.

Ralph L said...

How do you rape a porcupine?

Duct tape. Lots of it.

William said...

Never ask for whom the quill pricks......Trump got involved with some prehensile tail, and he is no longer the biggest prick in the tale.

Rusty said...

He was a prick anyway.

exhelodrvr1 said...

Damn that Trump!!

Bob Boyd said...

Here's video of Clark.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSSIN1AWnqY

rehajm said...

The safari guides in Botswana were fascinated and amazed with my stories of the porcupines I see in my yard from time to time. Many of them have never seen a porcupine, only tracks and the occasional quill. They're like ghosts, or Nessie to them...

rehajm said...

Father of four...that he knows of!!!

Bob Boyd said...

It's against the Code of the West to kill a porcupine.

rhhardin said...

A male has his needles.

JML said...

It is almost like they got teeth down there...

MadisonMan said...

Would it kill the Post to have more obits of women? We get to read about male porcupines instead of some very deserving woman of the Human species.

Ann Althouse said...

"The safari guides in Botswana were fascinated and amazed with my stories of the porcupines..."

Were they? Or were they doing safari theater for you and your money?

Ann Althouse said...

"Would it kill the Post to have more obits of women? We get to read about male porcupines instead of some very deserving woman of the Human species."

All I can say is there'd better be a WaPo obituary when Bess dies.

tcrosse said...

Attention must be paid.

john said...

Does this mean 6 more weeks of winter?

gspencer said...

"say quills of the female are made to temporarily lie flat"

"are made" to lie flat? You mean the element of consent is not present?

Fritz said...

Ann Althouse said...
"Would it kill the Post to have more obits of women? We get to read about male porcupines instead of some very deserving woman of the Human species."

All I can say is there'd better be a WaPo obituary when Bess dies.


Women live longer than men. Once you get that equalized, we'll consider it.

Fernandinande said...

Ann Althouse said...
All I can say is there'd better be a WaPo obituary when Bess dies.


Why? To prove the paper is still goofy?

Perhaps equity and fairness - both are important in nature - would be better served by having an obituary for a member of a different species, rather than another obit for the clearly privileged porcupines.

(I saw "Clearly Privileged Porcupines" open for the "Rock Bottom Remainders")

Ambrose said...

another male obituary -

exhelodrvr1 said...

Maybe Obama can do a Netflix special on this

Darrell said...

Clark was euthanized

Still had ObamaCare, most likely. . .

Big Mike said...

A long time ago I read that humans and porcupines are the only two mammals that mate face to face (I recollect that the article was illustrated with a porcupine drawn to resemble a missionary). I had forgotten that snippet of information until this Althouse post.

Big Mike said...

Come to think of it male and female whales and dolphins must mate belly to belly, too.